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Friday, December 19th, 2008
10:27 pm - law and order
it is a strange thing, to be on a jury. to sit in judgment of another. to judge based on a standard determined by 4 men, at least 1 of which knows the truth (in this case all 4 did). to decide "guilty" or "not guilty", and to have those men afterwards say 'good job, you solved the mystery correctly' as if it were all a game of clue with the answers lying in an envelope in the middle of the room.
although we had determined every count, and each one (not including specifiers) went the way I had originally believed, I felt like I was going to throw up when we walked back into the courtroom. to determine another person's fate, and to have your chosen path read to that person in your presence... you will never have that kind of power again.
we spent 4 tedious, strenuous, and exhausting days together. to some extent we remember each other's names. yet there is a bond there that keeps us from readily admitting that we will not be back in that jury room tomorrow, or on monday; in fact, we are likely to never see one another again.
and none of this is even about the case. I want to write all about the case; every feeling I had about it as facts were presented, every juror's thoughts on what was important and how we all reached the same conclusions through different pieces. I am too tired now, but I want to get it all down before I forget, and I know that will come all to soon.
it is a terrible thing to be on a jury, and an amazing one.

current mood: pensive
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Saturday, November 29th, 2008
5:29 pm - an "oh $*&@!" moment
for an assignment, I was to go to an aa meeting and write a reflection paper. sounds easy enough, right? apparently not for me...
here's an exerpt from my paper:
Have you ever seen those ads in newspaper classified sections, or on www.craigslist.com that they title “Missed Connections”? The ones where someone posts that they saw this other person at Starbucks and was too nervous to talk to them, or where they have talked to the other person every day in the elevator at the office building, but they don’t know the other person’s name? That’s my relationship with AA:
My first encounter with you was brief. No words were exchanged; you were just closed off, but I vowed that I would return. I saw you again a few days later. I was about to approach you, when I saw you with someone else— someone I knew— and I knew that it was not my time.

after being locked out of a meeting wednesday evening, I headed to another one this morning. as I was parking, someone pulled in right next to me... someone I know rather well and see on a consistent basis. I think this person did not see me; I hope this person did not see me, as I want the meeting to have been effective for this person, and I don't want our relationship to change. this person may not be an alcoholic; there are a hundred reasons why this person may have been there that does not equal being an alcoholic. but oh $*&@.

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Friday, November 28th, 2008
11:25 pm - henry
for anyone who didn't get the news yet, ryan and I got a dog. we found him on petfinder and he's adorable. he's part westie, part jack russell terrier. I wanted a full westie, but ryan fell in love with the little guy, and he IS a sweetie, so now he's ours. I will post a photo when I feel like I actually have time, but for now, I am missing my 5 year reunion due to his separation anxiety. ryan and I are hoping to fix it somewhat (or rather, make it manageable or at the very least quiet) in the next few days; wish us luck!
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Sunday, November 9th, 2008
11:45 am - extra, extra
I got a new computer! it's a 2.4 macbook, and it's pretty darn cool. I am just getting everything set up on it (fixing things such as the transparent menu bar and a 3D dock, that had been altered in an efffort to look more cool when I simply do not need it to be THAT cool, just "pretty darn" cool).

I guess that's pretty much the big news. here's hoping that my other potential big news comes through this afternoon, in which case I will have more to report on (although, sadly, it is doubtful).
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Thursday, November 6th, 2008
6:08 am
WEDDING NEWS: save the dates are at the printer. he showed me a proof of one, or at least of each side, and it looked great, but I am still nervous... they get picked up tomorrow.

bridesmaid dresses are almost selected. it's really between two, but I think I have it down to one. despite erin's wanting to hang out this weekend, I am subjecting her to bridesmaidly duties, like scoring save the dates (and perhaps a trip to bridal & formal to try on the two dresses). I am sure she just wanted to gourge on ice cream, and that's not so much what's going to happen. regardless, I am excited to see her.
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Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008
3:18 pm - dear graduate school library,
you suck. you have virtually none of the resources that a graduate student might need.
I know I was spoiled at michigan. over seven million titles will do that to a person. but could you PLEASE have just one of the articles that I think would be useful? I could simply use the michigan libraries when I in ann arbor this weekend, but I would rather do something fun on my short visit.
thanks. no love,
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Monday, September 8th, 2008
6:28 am
I suppose it's about time that I update, seeing as I can't remember my last post. every time I think about posting, I realize that I don't have much to say.

classes: school started back up a few weeks ago. I'm taking counseling addictions (which is about counseling people with addictions, and not people who are addicted to counseling) and multicultural populations. so far so good on both accounts, though I know the real homework is right around the corner.

knitting: my chuppah has been set aside for the moment as I work on some other projects to give me a break from lace. I really need to get back to it, although I am going to make a sweater vest for ryan, and I really need to start that soon so he will be able to wear it DURING sweater vest weather. little does elise know that when I see her in november, I'm giving her yarn and a pattern (and a guage!) to help with the chuppah... (oops; I guess she knows now!)

wedding: invitations and rehearsal dinner. we thought we had a great idea for the rehearsal dinner, but it sounds like it will get WAY too hot, and considering it's memorial day weekend, it wouldn't be fun if it was hot. it's too bad, because our plan was different from the traditional dinner, and it would have been quite nice. as for the invitations, I know what I want, I just need to figure out exactly how to design it. thankfully, my wonderful cousin at michigan picked me up the latest version of adobe cs3 design standard, so I can photoshop to my heart's content! (which reminds me that I owe him baked goods now...)

we had a lovely time in richmond. I haven't seen the pictures yet, so I can't say for sure how the dress actually looked. we then headed up to dc to see jon and lindsey, and now we are bored with dayton.
I'd say more, but it's getting to a point where I have to get ready.
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Monday, July 14th, 2008
1:11 pm
I decided to take a sick day today. I woke up and thought about the test today that I could hardly study for, all of the homework I had due in the next 2 weeks, and my long weekend that consisted of 13.5 hours of class and 4.5 hours of work, and I just couldn't bring myself to go into the office for the whole day. hopefully that means I will get a good amount of work done. I definitely am starting to feel better about the test this afternoon.
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Saturday, June 21st, 2008
9:09 pm - from chris
1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
hmm... doing summer reading? that was the summer that instead of getting to go to camp, we took a family trip to israel, which was amazing, but would have been more amazing had I also been able to spend a summer in one of the absolute best places on earth (bennington indiana).

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list?
weird how we just talked about to do lists last sunday! things make me feel accomplished just by crossing them off... so I add the simplest tasks to my list to feel that I have actually done something!
1. finish answering this meme
2. finish timeline and autobiography for class (no, I am not in the 3rd grade...)
3. finish chuppah (all three panels, but really panel one is what I mean right now)
things that may not be crossed off:
4. get GA ship
5. lose 5-10 pounds before ordering wedding dress

3. Where have I lived?
dayton (bennington for summers), ann arbor, and back to dayton (yeah... my list is so short that I actually had to write dayton on there twice to make it a little less pathetic)

4. What would I do if I was a billionaire?
get lots and lots of westies =) also lots of crafty stuff like every size of addi turbo needles and good yarn, and cake decorating supplies and quit my job so that I would have lots of time to cook and craft and take care of my plethora of doggies.

5. Who would I like to know more about?
chris took the ones who come to mind. but I would like to reiterate my original plea that lisa answer completely in pictures!
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Saturday, May 31st, 2008
9:13 am - I have no friends.
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Friday, May 2nd, 2008
5:28 pm - general update
britt came into town last weekend, so we got to hang out. we always enjoy her trips to dayton because it means that we have something to do, and FRIENDS!
she told us of an interesting piece of mail she received two weeks ago: a save the date to cole's wedding. the same wedding that ryan was asked to be in 4.5 months ago.
my original hopeful thought was that we had not been sent a s-t-d because we clearly knew when it would be; afterall, ryan was supposed to be in it. but no, my hopes were dashed, as britt told us the wedding party was listed on the invitation itself-- no mention of ryan.
ryan claims that it doesn't bother him; that he's over it, but I don't believe him. I feel that it is my fault, and I am glad that ryan loves me enough to have finally told cole off, but I wish that (newly designated) sfb lindsay didn't make him choose between us and her.

classes ended. in my stats wannabe class, I realized that if I didn't answer the essay questions, then I would still get an A, so I just didn't turn them in. naturally, this is the one time the man is "nice" and sends me an email asking me what happened to the rest of my final. I'm not quite sure how to respond... "it was too much work, and I didn't feel like doing it"... "why bother when I already have an A"?
if I tried to say that I didn't have time, I am sure he'd give me an extension-- something I do NOT want, because I plan on NEVER answering the essay questions, even if I did get more time.
I didn't do the work, so I shouldn't receive the points; end of story. stop trying to give me credit!!!

other than that, not too much is happening that is different than anything else day to day.

current mood: indescribable
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Saturday, March 8th, 2008
8:29 pm
I realized I haven't mentioned my new knitting group yet. we meet downstairs (just another wonderful part of living at the cannery) they are great, and I wish I had time to knit (or do other things) with them more than just one evening a week. but it certainly does make the beginning of the week go faster: mondays I think about how knitting is the very next night, and then tuesdays I am actually knitting and then it's already wednesday!

the bad part about the cannery right now? the guy who moved into ryan's old apartment on the 5th floor refuses to give them a number to link the intercom system up to, so it rings to our line... and he orders pizza an awful lot, including one last thursday (maybe; it was a week day) at 3 AM. and we got the call to let the guy in because he "had our pizza" despite my being completely confused and disoriented on the phone due to my newly awakened status.

been feeling pretty down about myself lately, and am having a hard time convincing myself to take some of this homework stuff seriously. it is likely due to the combination of work and sunday school on top of school, but it is possible that my no longer medicated status is finally catching up to me. and I had been so proud about that.

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Tuesday, March 4th, 2008
9:29 pm
ryan came home from arizona last night... er, this morning, as he didn't get in until 5:40 am. I hated having him gone. which is ridiculous, considering how much of our relationship has been spent with us living in different states. of course I would miss him, but I actually cried about it. multiple times. pathetic, I know. I just wish he didn't have to travel so much.

other news:
summer class schedule is out. there look to be some good ones, including a seminar I want to take on trauma and aftereffects. one thing that is really irritating though is that for summer 2, the 3 week intensive, they schedule them every day for an hour and a half like smack in the middle of the day. I mean, seriously. during the year, you only schedule classes at night, so I get a typical 9-5 ish job. then, during the summer, you schedule the classes during that time, so I should get a night job, but I already have the 9-5er, and... ::sigh::
I need friends. I think this was a large contributor to the crying. elise is unlikely to end up in cincinnati though, and I think I need to make better friends here. there are certainly people that I like, but we just aren't quite friends the same way, and I feel odd calling them to hang out. there are also people that I would call Potential Friends: people that I "know" (i.e. Fifth Floor Girl from Elevator and Americorps Anne) but only from passing, and not from actual experience.
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Friday, February 22nd, 2008
3:35 pm - scary
dear university of dayton,
you know what's not a good idea? not cancelling evening classes during a snow storm and a level 1 snow emergency.

you know what is a worse idea? cancelling the entire next day of classes, after all the danger has passed.

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Saturday, February 9th, 2008
7:16 pm
havent posted in a while...
I am greatly enjoying my knitting group. we seem to have a decent number of people with fairly strong opinions on things, and yet we still seem to have a very chill time together that doesn't include debates or conversations that require too much thought; I guess we are all trying to multitask by talking and counting stitches at the same time.
sunday school is going well, although I am getting to a point where I really am tired of lesson planning. I am debating about next year since I will already have lesson plans done, but it is still so time consuming.
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Tuesday, January 8th, 2008
10:22 pm - I just noticed...
john edwards blinks as much as bush does. he doesn't look like he's always looking into the sun, but he does blink an awful lot.
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Tuesday, December 18th, 2007
11:25 pm - apartment 429
we got our keys on friday! we have begun painting, which is really strating to hurt our backs. I was going to link to the colors, but the behr paint site uses flash, so it would only link to the start page. but if you want to see the colors, go to behr.com, click on explore color. the colors are...
bedroom: madras blue
long long hallway: spiced butternut with a slightly orange-y glaze color washed over it
bathrooms: feldspar
study: a couple of steps up from the madras blue (I don't remember what the name is)

in other news, my dogs are cute. for no particular reason than they just are.
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Saturday, November 24th, 2007
7:21 am - dear powers that rule over football,
please let west virginia and kansas fight it out for a national championship. don't let ohio state get in through an open back door...
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Wednesday, November 14th, 2007
9:55 pm - update
thought I'd just give an update to my life...
going up to ann arbor on friday for The Game. ::sigh:: will be rushing the field should we win, as I made the mistake of not doing so as a freshman (last time we won). still unsure of lloyd rumors.

ryan and I put a deposit down on our apartment this morning! here's a copy of the floorplan, though they drew the picture before the place was built, so it is slightly different (i.e. instead of the blah closet in the master bedroom, there is an amazing walkin!) I am excited about the move, but very sad to leave my doggies.

first semester of classes is almost over... which means that it is Paper Time. classes for next semester should be less review-esque.

bookfair ended at work. it went pretty well overall. the hardest part for me was that the 2008 calendar for the preschool that I was designing also needed to be done at the same time, so I had to work major overtime for a couple of weeks.
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Sunday, September 16th, 2007
1:13 pm - happy new year
I made them care!!!
I'm teaching seventh graders at temple beth or about the holocaust this year. this morning, we discussed other genocides that have taken place since then. the first half we talked about cambodia, rwanda, andd bosnia, and they were kinda iffy about it. but then during the second half we talked about darfur. some of them had no idea it was going on, and they couldn't believe that no one has stopped it yet. they were interested enough that they didn't all jump out of their seats at 12:30 on the dot.

in other news, michigan won the game yesterday, against the worst football team I have ever seen. I honestly think my high school team could have beaten notre dame yesterday; the quarterback couldnt even take a snap reliably. it was nice to be back, but it was sad not to sit in the student section. I also realized that my closest friends from last year are ALL still in ann arbor (even the ones who graduated), and there isnt enough time in a weekend to see everyone or spend as much time with anyone as I would like.

so it goes.
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